Let me hold you, For the last time, It's the last chance to feel again, But you broke me, Now I can't feel anything
omgitsbee
Mar 17, 2009
When I love you, It's so untrue, I can't even convince myself, When I'm speaking, It's the voice of someone else, Oh it tears me up, I try to hold on, but it hurts too much, I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay, You can't play on broken strings, You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel, I can't tell you something that ain't real, Oh the truth hurts, And lies worse, How can I give anymore, When I love you a little less than before.
I dont.. I dont know what to say anymore. I dont know what to do. Its not.. betrayal. Its not, theres an excuse, they were drunk, all of them. But it hurts. And everything is completely and utterly fucked right now. Everything.
It doesnt hurt as much as i thought it would.. seeing as its happened before. But im just so confused about everything, its just scaring me how quick its all going. One minute, i feel happy. The next, it rushes back and im saddened by the fact that my entire trust has dissappeared. It makes me so.. insecure. I dont want it too, i cant blame him, neither can i blame her, because its niether of their faults. But it just.. ugh. I dont know what to think.
I hate the fact that, yet again, its happened to me. When i build up my entire trust after the last time 3 whole fucking years ago, just to have it knocked down again.. it really does scare me. Can i even trust ANYONE? Because im not sure anymore, i'm really not.
To Her:
I do not hate you, not one bit. I dont not feel any sort of those feelings towards you, i could never ever feel it to you. i dont feel the need to bitch about you, i dont feel the need to smack you, ignore you, or do anything else i used to do. Im disapointed.. but its to be expected, i counted you as a close friend to me. & Im angry, angry not for myself, but for what you've done to him. He's my brother, I would have thought that no amount of alcohol would have lead YOU to do such a thing. It still hurts me, stabs me right in the heart to think you betrayed him, as well as me. That boy is the closest to family i've actually got nowadays.
To Him:
I love you. I really do. I still do, and this hasnt effected the way i look... think of you. I have nothing to say to you, because i know it wasnt your fault. I wish, so much, that we werent going about this the way we actually are. i wish so much that we could just be normal again, before this happened. Your no traitor, i know you arent and i know you wouldn't usually do this. I understand you need 'time'.. i spose. I dont get it, your making it out to be as though i've done something wrong, and thats what hurts most. The fact that i feel like taking everything out on myself, like its my fault. I still feel its my fault; maybe.. if i hadnt gone out, and got drunk and annoyed you that night. Maybe if i had tried harder to keep peace between us, it might not have happened. Maybe.. UGH. But everything was fine when we spoke before. Im so confused. I dont get why its you who needs to think, i really think it should be me, and you trying hard to get me back, not the other way around.
I think, that im falling apart. I think im in pieces, and i dont know which direction to turn in anymore. : A week ago i was happy. Its shocking me.
'Beex
I dont.. I dont know what to say anymore. I dont know what to do. Its not.. betrayal. Its not, theres an excuse, they were drunk, all of them. But it hurts. And everything is completely and utterly fucked right now. Everything.
It doesnt hurt as much as i thought it would.. seeing as its happened before. But im just so confused about everything, its just scaring me how quick its all going. One minute, i feel happy. The next, it rushes back and im saddened by the fact that my entire trust has dissappeared. It makes me so.. insecure. I dont want it too, i cant blame him, neither can i blame her, because its niether of their faults. But it just.. ugh. I dont know what to think.
I hate the fact that, yet again, its happened to me. When i build up my entire trust after the last time 3 whole fucking years ago, just to have it knocked down again.. it really does scare me. Can i even trust ANYONE? Because im not sure anymore, i'm really not.
To Her:
I do not hate you, not one bit. I dont not feel any sort of those feelings towards you, i could never ever feel it to you. i dont feel the need to bitch about you, i dont feel the need to smack you, ignore you, or do anything else i used to do. Im disapointed.. but its to be expected, i counted you as a close friend to me. & Im angry, angry not for myself, but for what you've done to him. He's my brother, I would have thought that no amount of alcohol would have lead YOU to do such a thing. It still hurts me, stabs me right in the heart to think you betrayed him, as well as me. That boy is the closest to family i've actually got nowadays.
To Him:
I love you. I really do. I still do, and this hasnt effected the way i look... think of you. I have nothing to say to you, because i know it wasnt your fault. I wish, so much, that we werent going about this the way we actually are. i wish so much that we could just be normal again, before this happened. Your no traitor, i know you arent and i know you wouldn't usually do this. I understand you need 'time'.. i spose. I dont get it, your making it out to be as though i've done something wrong, and thats what hurts most. The fact that i feel like taking everything out on myself, like its my fault. I still feel its my fault; maybe.. if i hadnt gone out, and got drunk and annoyed you that night. Maybe if i had tried harder to keep peace between us, it might not have happened. Maybe.. UGH. But everything was fine when we spoke before. Im so confused. I dont get why its you who needs to think, i really think it should be me, and you trying hard to get me back, not the other way around.
I think, that im falling apart. I think im in pieces, and i dont know which direction to turn in anymore. : A week ago i was happy. Its shocking me.
'Beex
